Where are they taking us? Ugh, this cab smells like a giant can of diesel. Disgusting. Why do I always get stuck on the door armrest? When I get bigger I’m always going to ride in the front seat and I’m gonna make Corney sit in the back. Why can’t they scoot over even a little bit? My sisters are so lame.

“Dad’s waiting for us in Nogales…”

I suppose he can kill me in Nogales just as easily as he could kill me at home.

               You see, Dad, I thought there was this frogman and this pool…No, that won’t work.

               It’s not like I’m learning anything new at school anyways…Yeah, he’s not gonna fall for that either. I am so dead.

Vaccinations were one of the many hoops the family had to jump through.

               America? What kind of place requires an ugly nurse to stick me with her poisonous needle. Ughh! God, it itches! Now this thing is starting to get a bunch of weird bumps all around it. Am I dying? No. Nurse Fea said that this would happen. I hope she was telling the truth. Why do we have to go to this stupid America anyways?

               The sooner I get back to my pigeons the better. We should have enough feed for a couple of months and we’ll probably be back by then or sooner. Abuelo will have to spend a few more pesos on feed without me fighting for the best prices…

        Their bus arrives to take them to Tecate and then the border.

               That rickety old thing isn’t going to make it two miles before it blows up. Why, can’t we just stay here where we can walk to everything or take the horse? Ugh! How long does it take to get to America anyways?

               Whoa! It’s going to take a lot longer with those in the way. Rumarosa? I hope we don’t go that high up. Dios mio! There’s almost no room between us and the cliff. What the…?Look at all of those car wrecks down there!

               “Dad,” one of the siblings said. “Are there any bodies in those cars down there still?”

“Oh, yeah!” Nabor said. “A lot of people died right here…”

Why are my parents doing this!

               Argh! These weird blisters are getting roasted! Thanks, Nurse Fea. Why can’t I just stay home with Abuelo? I can take care of myself, the house, and learn English right here! And we can go to church together. The choir is probably practicing without me right now. I bet none of the gringo altar boys ever started a choir. There’s  probably no church in America at all. Yeah, right. The church is everywhere. I want to go home.

Across the border it was back to a yellow cab for the eight of them and their two suitcases.

               I swear my nalgas are going to fall off before we get to…wherever we are going now that we are here. Ox-something? Who cares? It’s not like I need to learn the names of any of these places. Look at all of this ugly cement! Mom and Dad will probably realize what a mistake this is right now. I will gladly lose both of my butt checks if it means getting back to my friends, my abuelo, my chickens, my pigs, my pigeons…

               Is that huge chunk of cement over the road? What is that? A bridge or something? Why would they build a bridge over a road? Oh, there are cars on it too. They build roads on top of other roads here. Why are my parents bringing us here?

               In Santa Monica on Highway 1 just past Lincoln Boulevard, there is a short tunnel which leads to the coast…

               Is that water? Look at all that blue. What do the gringos do with it all? It never ends. Just more and more water forever with no end in sight surrounding this entire America, ready to swallow it up at any moment.     

               That lady’s hair looks weird. It’s as bright as a lemon. Is she walking around in her underwear? Wait a minute. What’s that box she just stepped into? Is that a phone she’s holding? She’s probably calling for help with all of this water that’s about to drown all of us. Sorry lemon chica…nothing can save us from all of that water. Nothing.